Goals

This week's target: 

Nourish my mind

Nourish my body 

Nourish my spirit 

Been feeling quite toxic lately. Must get back my health in all these aspects.

No bull

I may be at a point in life where I can honestly say that I would love to have a kid already.

I'm past saying the bullshit that I'm not ready because the person with me isn't. 

Now that I am my own, I can speak for myself. 

However, for now I know I need to focus on what's on my plate - work, managing my finances and building my house this year. 

Been 29 for a month now. It does feel quite different. It feels more adult. 

I need to just manage the wants vs the realities and take life as it comes. 

Learning to fall in love with my life

Been quite stressed lately about so many different things... 

In this morning's reflection, instead of focusing on the stress, I thought about all the people I should thank and express my gratitude towards. 

It was probably a shock for my parents to receive my "i love you" message this morning since I'm not quite the type who'd do that. 

Secret heart

I realized that whenever my heart cries out for God in my most desperate moments, He always send short glimmers of hope like post-it notes to remind me that he is everpresent.

He knows the desires of my heart. 

Lord, I will say it again, if it is not Your will, please give me the courage and peace to accept Your version of "no". 

After spending an afternoon with you, I find myself saying goodnight exceptionally early. 

Not because I don't want to talk to you anymore. And its not because of the excuse I gave you that I had a long day and I'm sleepy. 

It's honestly just because I need a moment to recover and catch my breath. 

You just have that effect in me. 

Weekend round up

Crazy end of the week! I don't know how many curve balls were thrown my way. 

Life is not easy.

However, life becomes bearable when you have a great support system that you can always run to when you're feeling lost.

God has blessed me to belong to a good family where lines of communication are always open and good friends, soulmates to bounce off the bad stuff and always discuss the good in every situation.

Friday night cocktails and coffee 

Saturday hongkong food trip

Sunday afternoon silliness 

I will always and forever be thankful to God for blessing me with the necessary tools for me to survive. 

Love this life

I would just like to pause for a moment and just appreciate the simple joys and small bundles of happiness I experience in my rather stressful life. 

Thank you God for blessing me with people that make me realize the good in every day. 

Pre-Monday

Sometimes getting a "good morning" or a "goodnight" is all I need to face the chaos that will unravel before me once I open my eyes tomorrow morning. 

Letting God work in me

Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded' (James 4:7-8 NKJV). God will do His part, but you must do yours. God will extend grace to you, but you must act on it. - Word for Today 

Recurring theme this week, let God work in you. I'm just too stubborn and I always let my emotions rage on first before calling out to Him. 

Back from my charging station - Seoul

Thoughts at 1:30am about being almost 30.

I just got back from Korea and I feel that whenever I'm there, I'm not touring, experiencing the attractions, sightseeing. I'm mainly there to regain some balance within myself by spending a good amount of time being alone and at the same time spending time with dear friends that have been a part in defining the Camille that I am today. 

Its been almost 13 years that I have known these people. This trip to Korea made me reminisce and feel sentimental about how we used to be and how we are now. 

Our spending habits are different now compared to when I first started coming to Korea some winters ago. Back then, our budget for food would only be 3000-5000won tops and that would probably consist of cheese ramyeon, ddukbokki or bibimbap. Nowadays, our priorities are different. We now think about which has the most amount of veggies, or which is the most beneficial for our health and of course since Uri is pregnant, which will best suit her taste and the baby. 

I was never the type who had goals set on what I should have accomplished when I'm 30 back when I was younger. Now I just feel.. Oh so this is how late 20s feels like. It's pretty okay. I feel okay. Life is good. 

I'm just going to try to sit back and enjoy the ride. Life and God has so much in store for me. I have learned the past few weeks as its a consistent message thats been recurring that I need not worry. I need not be anxious. To stay faithful to God's plan for my life is what I need to do. How I will achieve it is by keeping my promises to my mission in life and continuously pray to God to lead me and my actions. 

This is the end of my Easter thoughts. Now, I must rest. Tomorrow, we hustle.

How appropriate for today.

It's extremely frustrating when people just  criticize and complain without getting the real picture of things. 

Sigh. Emotional. 

Let it go. 

I am happiest when....

I am in love with the feeling when I put makeup on women... 

There is something about the suspense of how it will turn out that gives me a high. To be honest, when I put makeup on people, I don't exactly have a vision of how they will eventually look like. I just have an idea on the products and shades I should put on them. 

We had another photoshoot last week and had the opportunity to put makeup on these beautiful faces.. I was astounded how it eventually turned out. 

The process of putting on the makeup is equally enjoyable or should I say a pleasurable and gratifying experience for me... Enhancing the already beautiful features on the women I work with and playing with the unique highlights, contours and shadows of each face.. Its like unfolding a beautiful mystery. 

Doing makeup for friends for me, is both honing my skills and an expression of my love. I will not say no to a friend who would ask me to do their makeup. Its something I love to do and means even more when I do it for the people I love. 

Obviously I am addicted to anything cosmetic related... I just feel grateful I am able to do something I love doing on a regular basis and is an integral part of my actual work as well. 

Don't dwell

I think for the most part, the thing I find most difficult is having to trust people.

Yes, this has been a known fact.

A fact that is also the source of a lot of stress. 

Stress because I feel if I don't look close enough, things will fall into the cracks and will get us all in trouble. 

One thing learned though, no two people are the same. A person's attitude cannot be stereotyped in any way with another's of a same demographic.

Lesson learned. 

Accept these realities. 

On to the next wild adventure. 

Speak words of life

"Yes, and so is gossip, and slander! They’re deadly. They make people feel worthless by destroying their self–esteem and undermining them to the point where life doesn’t seem worth living. Learn to guard your tongue and speak words that bring life, not death."

This word today struck me so much. The pressures that come with work just breeds gossip and back biting. 

This should be a constant reminder to me and everyone else that when we are in difficult situations, we should try even harder not to succumb to the easiest temptation to cave into. 

Today's truth

You just don't know what they're going through. 

I refuse to succumb to my emotions. 

I will try my hardest to remain kind. 

Gotta love Josh Wilson

I've been so addicted to listening to Josh Wilson's songs lately.

I would listen to his playlist on Spotify every morning as I get ready to go to work...

His playlist is full of relatable Christian songs and they are absolutely beautiful...



Last weekend was when I discovered this gem of a playlist and found myself crying as I was driving home. His songs are just so on-point... It's either that or... I'm just extremely PMS-ing.

"그렇게 너무 밝히지 좀 마요 

세상은 원래 어두우니까"

How I feel when I feel the presence of a man slowly growing on me... 

Resistance. 

Beautiful

After 28 years, I'm finally starting to come to terms to be happy with myself. 

It's been a long struggle of dieting, trying to look more like what I thought beautiful is, exercising, then getting frustrated and pigging out, bouts of laziness and all that... 

I may not think I've reached my goal or my idea of perfection, but its only now that I realize that it doesn't matter.

What I need to keep in check is if I feel beautiful within which is more often than not affirmed when I feel God work within me. 

This is a beautiful quote which is very appropriate. 

There have been times that I have frowned upon people for complimenting me about being pretty because I did not believe them or because I thought they were pulling my leg. 

I'm choosing to let go. 

I won't have a fixed convention of beauty that's measurable by weight, how clear my skin is at the moment or how perfectly I've done my makeup. 

I will try to no longer be fooled by media and advertising that tries to convince me how physically imperfect I am.

I am and will always be beautiful as long as I love, as long as I am kind to others, as long as I am giving of myself, as long as I am not judgmental. 

Grateful day 2

Today I am grateful for...

1. The gift of life that Chloe is to me and to the rest of the family. She has grown so much in the past 7 years and I really believe that Chloe is bound for greatness. 

2. Today's message on motivation. I'm grateful that I read that today because it will guide me on how to handle people with love and with genuine care. 

3. I am happy that there are a lot of food options available for vegetarians ans vegans like me nowadays. I certainly see the progress despite what other people say. More and more people are health and wellbeing conscious which makes it so much easier for me to stick to my diet.  

4. I am grateful to God that He has blessed me with physical strength and endurance to last through 3 straight weeks of overtime and still being able to have regular cardio mornings. Being able to still think critically and creatively despite the lack of sleep and exhaustion is a miracle all in itself. 

Thank You! 

Redefined

Oh my... This is so true.  

Never realized it until now.  

It really does take courage to not dwell in having pity parties and realize that there's a beautiful world beyond our own selfish emotions. 

To be set free that the world does not revolve around us and realizing how blessed we are.... It really is a gift.