"Darling, you don't deserve me... you don't deserve my love.
I had plenty to give but you shoved it off."

- Zee Avi, Darlin' It Ain't Easy

Sigh

Note to self:

Don't always believe what you think. Sometimes our minds can be so screwed up due to so many varying reasons.

Only be so convicted to something you're sure about to prevent embarrassment... or... resentment.

Boys make passes at girls in glasses

“i want a girl who reads
who feeds her addiction for fiction
with unusual poems and plays
that she hunts out in crooked bookshops for days and days and days
she’ll sit addicted at breakfast, soaking up the back of the cornflakes box
and the information she gets from what she reads makes her a total fox
'cos she’s interesting & unique
& her theories make me go weak at the knees”

- mark gist 

So, ask yourself: When others get past the packaging of my life, do they experience a heart full of healthy, Christ-honoring ingredients? By putting in grace, kindness, patience, and compassion, we’ll reflect the wonderful nature of Christ. —Joe Stowell

When we become frustrated with God’s apparent delay in answering our prayer, it is good to remember that He is interested in developing faith and perseverance in our character (James 1:2-4). Wait on the Lord! —Dennis Fisher

I didn't leave.

I just want you to find out what you want in life without having to factor my opinion in.

I told you before, I won't give up so easily. I haven't given up.

I just want you to be happy.

Mood is crazy...

PMS?

Oh gosh... Sorry to all the people surrounding me. I seem to be a shrew nowadays.

Dynamite

Somebody else is speaking for me 

Thanks for perfectly describing my penguin-ness! 

:(

Yes yes

So so so true... 

We can only be grateful of our trials... 

Easier said than done, but should be accepted. 

Surprises

I love it when God speaks to me through the most unlikely people in the most unexpected circumstances. 

Sometimes these real life moments resonate more than actual sermons at Church. 

God is truly everywhere. 

Don't wanna die

I just tried doing the Fit Test of Insanity...

And...

Ummm...

What the heck was that?! Seriously?

Are you like seriously planning to kill me?!


I die.

Mantra!

I had a dream last night. 

It seem to have explained all the things I wish I knew about that other person's feelings.  

It was so clear to me in the dream.  However, when I woke up... I could barely remember anything.  

I just had a better sense of peace in my heart. 

I don't know if it's my id talking or God talking... 

I've started Phase 2 of South Beach and I decided to cook my meals myself.. This morning I had a piece of aloo gobi paratha... I just got it from the supermarket and it's made with cauliflower, potato and durum wheat.

For lunch I made a cauliflower mash, with some home made turkey patties that I topped with some home made marinara-like sauce.

Lady, our newest formulator has worked with a lot of skin clinics before and we started talking about non-invasive procedures for slimming down.  She shared her experiences of all the procedures she has gone through.  Now, I'm seriously considering getting RF and cavitation procedures.

We'll see.. I'd really like to see myself thin at some point in my life because I've never been thin, ever.

It's the end of Phase 1...10.2 lbs lighter.

And so, I'm reading this book called The World is Fat.  It discusses all the trends and the historical reasons why the world is becoming more and more unhealthy.  

It really is a very insightful, it says there that as technology progresses, the health of the people also decrease because of the increased conveniences in food preparation, traveling, errands, etc.  We also become more lazy because the things we do day to day require less work.  

I have lost 10.2 lbs in 13 days.  That's with very minimal exercise but I try to do a lot of walking and home chores.  

I don't know how I'll be able to face my meal planning for Phase 2 of South Beach because I've decided not to order my food for Phase 2 and instead just cook it myself.  

I really hope this increased awareness and interest in being more healthful would be sustainable.  Knowing me, I have my phases in life.  I'd be so obsessive for a certain time but then move on to the next more interesting thing.  

I really hope I'll be able to take up on this lifestyle.  

Low carb... Lean meat... Loads of veggies... Portioning. 

Blablablabla. 

When you’re feeling invisible or disregarded, remember that God does see you and He cares. Wait on Him, and He’ll give you renewed strength. —Anne Cetas

I shall not worry coz God is taking care of me. I shall not complain because God is always blessing me. I shall not fear because God is always with me. 

so charming

Please give me a man who will feel this way towards me.... :)

8.5 lbs in 9 days

I've lost 8.5 lbs so far...

The olive pants I've just recently purchased in Bangkok last July are now hanging a bit loose compared to when I first got them... They were skinny jeans too.

I'm grateful that most of my clothes are mostly dresses coz if they were mostly pants, I'd have to purchase a lot of new things.

Celebrating the loss of the weight (as heavy as a healthy new born) from my body with an iced cappuccino.

How will I be able to continue my Phase 2 in Bangkok? I'm worried. The home of all things salty and starchy... Extra challenge up ahead in 2 weeks...

What should I do?

I've been wanting to have coffee since I woke up. 

However, I go all agitated and hyper whenever I have it. 

Coffee is such a drug. And now I feel like a patient on rehab because I can't not think about getting some. 

What the.... 

Do not forget

Just in case I go through some tough times, I'll post this so I don't forget :) 

I've lost 7.5 lbs so far..

I realized, a lot of things in life are just about mind control.  This diet is working because I paid an exorbitant amount of money for it and I would just feel really bad if I didn't lose as much by cheating on my diet and it would just feel like I burned all that money for nothing.

First week down, 2nd week of this Phase 1 starts today. I'm feeling pretty okay.

Whenever I see Burger King or some other appetizing food, I still have a pained look on my face.

Well, I'm still human after all.

I guess?

Love

Not until he sees the real me.. The me that I am when im with you... And until I stop trying to be the person he wants me to be even if he doesnt.. We will never be.

Hate

If we think we get so affected by hateful people... Think about what they are actually going through to make them feel and act that way. It must feel like a bottomless pit of dark loneliness...