What’s been going on... Between the last entry I posted from September last year... I got pregnant with our second baby.. We're having a baby girl!
Work’s been tough. I feel that 2020, despite the adjustment to the new normal, I’ve kept my spirits pretty high - unnaturally high I guess. Because now I’m experiencing a spirit crash.
I’ve identified that I'm probably experiencing prenatal depression.. you know how like you get depression while you're pregnant.
I've experienced:
-having high anxiety
-being super unmotivated and nothing could convince me otherwise
-thought about ending my life 2x this year just because I could not bear with the pressure on my shoulders anymore
Life seems like there's no light at the end of the tunnel.. Covid and pandemic not ending anytime soon.
Speaking to by bestfriend who is in Korea and thinking that maybe the next time she'll meet my kids would be when they're teenagers.
Today, I'm going to try doing something about it.
Some steps I'm going to try to take today:
1. ban fried food in the house and introduce more fruits and vegetables.
Our yaya is the one cooking and making decisions in the kitchen coz I'm just always down and tired after all the work day's stress, so I'm gonna try and make an effort so she doesn't just carelessly prepare our meals, especially Chew's
2. try to move.
I've not had the ability to go for my walks because I feel like I need to be stuck near my laptop just in case some urgent thing happens at work and it made me just wait around the home office lying down and listlessly waiting for the inevitable things to unravel at work.
I guess that's up to the extent of what I can do at the moment. Banning caffeine - not up for that just yet.
