Hannah did not get to ride the shuttle due to the extra long discussion so she ended up joining us.
It was all pretty mundane during dinner.
Conversations shared were about wedding preps and work here and there over Gringo roast chicken and crispy pork belly and house iced tea.
Some more walking around doing what our original excuse was for meeting up - check on furniture.
Yep... Same old, same old.
As we move from store to store, I start feeling my legs feeling tired.
I was having another moment.... Why have I gotten this old that I can't have the same endurance and energy that I used to?
I used to be able to walk super long walking all over Megamall, scouring the mall for fashion finds and hanging out at coffee shops. Life as a single working woman in her late 20s living in Quezon City.
In recent months, I've still been trying to get used to the fact that:
a. I'm living in my own house, no one's cleaning after me I need to fend for myself
b. Adjusting to a life in the province wherein everything isn't as accessible as it was for a city girl like me
c. I'm about to get married, aside from my now 7 cats, I need to take care of another person
d. all of the above plus.. work...plus wedding...
In hindsight... It was not just today that has got me thinking about my life now. It was last Friday, when I decided to go on sick leave/work from home because I was feeling quite tired, having a massive migraine, and feeling as if I had a fever bubbling up inside of me.
It was that weekend that I realized, I AM NOT THE GIRL THAT I USED TO BE. I need to give my body much more rest now that it's older.
Fast forward to tonight's events.. Josh wanted to have coffee so we proceeded to Seattle's Best.
And it happened there..
Hannah opened the conversation about an e-mail update I sent my close friends end of 2015 entitled Camille's Dating Status.
Browsing through my penchant musings about being tired of dating... then it hit me. I felt like I was looking into the life of a stranger.
Damn... was I interesting back then. And that I want to believe I still am a good writer.
We ended up discussing about how if I were to create my content for the sake of creating... I'd probably come up with an online novel as I did back in University.
I've forgotten all about these things because lately... I feel like I've lost all my individuality, quirks, personality and everything that I was and just think of myself as the decisions I have to make for the company.
I need to get Camille back. Current Camille is no fun.
I don't want my identity to just be the decisions I have to make... and the decision maker.
I am Camille, who used to review makeup, used to do nail art, used to write online novels, creative Camille.
Let's get her back. Resuscitate creative Camille.
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