i know now..

i've been feeling really bad lately... I feel like i face problem after problem and they don't seem to end all in the span of a few weeks.

I was going crazy and totally out of it to the point that it affected other people.

but it seems like it's whenever i go through these all time lows that i realize God talking to me in a different way.

First message yesterday - be thankful.

I feel like i've neglected to be grateful and thankful of what I have even if I have way more than what I deserve.  Since I focus on all the problems I'm facing, it's turned into a vacuum and like a one - track mind thing wherein i don't see the beauty and positivity of each situation anymore.

2nd message that came to me today - put your full trust in Me

I've relied too much on other people to comfort me when God is just there waiting for me to put all my trust in Him.  It's become a wake up call. It's been a rough few weeks but I'm thankful that I went through it because it's also through my rough times I'm not able to read the Bible.

God is definitely trying to tell me things and I'm so grateful that I'm able to hear them.

Now, on my end - Acceptance.

Acceptance of God's role, peoples' roles, and my role.  I can't just trust in Him and not do my part.  I believe this is an awakening for me to really step up and do my best in all the responsibilities I have whether it's work, relationship, self.

I truly feel affirmed by today that if I just trust in Him, no problem is too big for me to face.

The world is not caving in, I'm just making You stronger - God

I've got an amazing God, a wonderful family that's here to support me, friends and colleagues who are there for me and Chad who listens to me and comforts me (and makes me deliriously happy!).

I'm ready to face tomorrow and the upcoming days... I'll just have to promise God that I'll still remember to smile amidst all this and know that He's there, refining me.